tiong's dream

Reflection , Resolution and Refinement

2012-01-24T14:16:00.002+08:00

Congrats to everyone survived yet another year! I think its time for me to really reflect, make resolutions and refine myself. (The survivor logo gave me the idea for the title and I just edited it to fit my title. hehe)

Time really flies huh. Looking back this year, I had just finished taking my A level (again!) and completed my National Service (hopefully forever) and was just a ball of uncertainly while waiting for my A level results, NIE results and relief teaching. I realized I was always constantly just waiting and I hate that.

Jump forward a few months, I failed my NIE interview, along with my A level and the only silver lining was that I managed to start relief teaching at JWPS and I met some of the nicest teachers who really guided and helped me whenever I stumbled (many times in fact) there.

Continuing on, I was finally able to apply for NIE again and this time I was accepted. I was just so so so happy. The feeling of being accepted is just awesome. :D I went for the contract signing and will start contract teaching in January before starting school in July 2012 (hopefully)

Get into NIE. Checked
Learn Dancing. Checked
Pass Driving. Half-checked.

At least, I completed 2.5 resolutions from last year!

I feel that for this year, my focus would be on studies and teaching. So I will work around these two and really put my heart and soul into it, especially teaching which I currently doing at Beacon Primary School. I will be a better teacher by the end of this year!

This post might feel rushed because I actually wrote it in Dec but only gotten myself to finish it today. :/

Dream a little dream of me.

2011-11-05T23:53:00.005+08:00

I love dreams a lot. I love how absurd, how complicated, how fantastical it can get, I mean anything can happen in my dreams. Like yesterday, I dreamt about the Zombie Apocalypse (might be due to 2 seasons of The Walking Dead, which is like a awesome show) and I COULD FLY. I don't remember much about other details but I just remember I could fly around and stare at the zombies that can't fly. I used to think flying is a lame power, like seriously. I would choose Teleportation over Flying as the mode of transport, teleport is boom, fast, flying expands your energy. So ya, teleportation.

Plus, when I used to write my novel like 7 years back, I always use my dreams as inspirations and most of the story plot is from my dream which may explains the inconsistency and incoherent of it all, but hey, the Twilight series was conceived from a dream that Stephanie Meyer had.

"I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire. They were discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they were falling in love with each other while B) the vampire was particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and was having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately. For what is essentially a transcript of my dream, please see Chapter 13 ("Confessions") of the book." - StephanieMeyer.com

But as Dumbledore once said,

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

How apt, Dumbledore. Vampires don't live.
MIND BLOWN.

Exam Woes

2011-11-04T19:43:00.001+08:00

Every single time, I wanted to blog about something, I have the whole idea in my head, my thought processing one whole chunk of essay to be blogged and yet nothing comes on when I start writing. I have this compulsive need for my post to be grand and long and nice and then it just ends up in drafts that I never finish and publish. Oh wells.

Time to change all that...(again) and I digress.

It was exam week a while ago and my job as a relief teacher was just to invigilate for the most part, which led to a lot of free time on my mind as I watched my kids struggled with their papers. I could not comprehend why they seemed so stressed and troubled by examinations.

When I was in Primary school, I loved examinations and test, no joke. It was mainly due to the fact I was quite smart when I was young and examination and test was just something to prove that theory. Of course, I usually did well without much effort even until PSLE which I think my score was quite decent by the standard then.

Of course, the syllabus had changed since then and papers could had been harder than when it was before. Primary school students have to learn more things in that 6 years and subjected to more stress which is kinda sad seeing that they should be enjoying their childhood.

Oh by the way, I started to hate examinations after primary school because I never did well. Haha.

I am Foundation, so what?

2011-09-12T13:22:00.000+08:00

I think many of you guys will still remember the EM1, EM2, EM3 streams we used to have when we were in primary school which was revamped in 2004 because of the negative connotation it gave to the EM3 students which spawned movies and a TV Series. So now, no more streaming per se, but doesn't mean it does not exist.

Basically EM1 and EM2 students are merged, just that the smarter students can opt to take Higher Mother Tongue, while everything remains the same. No more EM3, but there are the weaker students who take up Foundation papers.

I used to hate branding because I think students who are in the end classes are labeled as weak and in turn they might become weaker due to the social stigma that had been put on to them. The pressure that is set on them when they are just so young, so vulnerable.

I took a couple of foundation classes and I love them so much! They are so likable and adorable and when I praise them for being smart, I always get the same response, "We are not smart, we are foundation," while getting laughter from the rest of the class. It pains me so much to hear them say that about themselves and beneath all those laughter, is there bitterness I detect? True, they are taking foundation papers, doesn't mean they cannot rise to their potential and do better at Secondary Level.

One day, when I teach my own foundation class, I will make them have this mindset of, "I am Foundation, so what?"

I love my foundation kids very very much. <3

Character Flaw

2011-09-09T13:09:00.000+08:00

Yes yes, I know I have been neglecting this blog due to a character flaw that I have finally admitted to myself. I cannot follow through on a lot of things I start, I likes to try new things but after a while, I grow bored and start on a new project which I don't follow through yet again.

I will change, lets hope I follow through on that. One way to know is if I stop updating this blog, that means I failed miserably yet again. Boohoo. I really love writing, maybe I should put all these thoughts I have into my blog instead of just keeping it in my head. I wish there is such thing as a Pensieve.

What is your character flaw?

Being a teacher

2011-04-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

So I received my teaching pay and to my surprise, no CPF is deducted! YEA! :D Its not much, because I am only doing causal relief teaching, whereby the school will only call me when some teachers are on MC. However, I will be given a form class in May when one of the teacher leave for a no pay leave!

I am excited and scared at the same time, its exciting to be given a form class, to plan my own lessons and see if I am actually a good teachers, but also scared because it is a challenging class and there is one problem kid in the class, but hey, I have to learn to deal with these kind sometimes right? :D

I just hope NIE will finally accept me after I have obtained much relief teaching experience. Stop rejecting me, annoying!

So you want to be a teacher?

The boy who cried wolf.

2011-04-08T12:00:00.000+08:00

We have all heard of the story of the boy who cried wolf. It was told as a moral fable to discourage kids from telling lies, or else end up like the boy, eaten up by the wolf.

However, I think no one deserved to be eaten by the wolf, especially young children. This story came into mind when during one of the students in my class said that he was being threatened by older primary students. I told the form teacher about it, but she say he might just be lying because he lied before.

She did however, still launch into a investigation about this matter, but with no witness except from his statement, it was rather hard to determine if he was lying. Which led me to thinking, what if he wasn't lying, but given his past record (he is a rather naughty boy), he is first deemed to be lying rather than be believed.

If it was you, would you believe the boy who cried wolf, or leave him to his demise?

Dance Dance Revelations

2011-03-08T11:07:00.001+08:00

I really like dancing! It is just so fun! Its weird to love something that I am really bad in, but still madly in love with it. :D

When I was in council, I secretly wanted to be one of the dancers on the stage for mass dance, but you know who in the right mind would put me on the stage right? I still remembered during a OGL Camp, we had an impromptu mass dance session and the mass dance ic was asking for volunteers to go on stage to dance. I immediately rasied my hand and she ignored it and went "Anyone?" In the end, she had no choice but to put me on stage because the rest of the council didn't want to go. ;) I was annoyed that time of course, but now its just a funny memory. :)

Pardon my lack of low-self esteem, go google "Fat People Dancing" and you have more than a million hits! Same goes for youtube, but many follows with Fat People dancing...and falling. Oh wells, :) But you know who motivate me to go dancing? Its you, you and you! *drumrolllllll* Its Gadis, Jessica, Jess, Howsun, Celisse, without you guys, I wouldnt had known about Oschool at all and if Gadis didn't ask me to the Oschool recital, I wouldn't be so wow and blown away and so want to learn dance!
Thank you. i <3 28th. :)

I wish I can body-wave like a howsun.

What the hell.

2011-03-04T19:46:00.000+08:00

How does one fail so many times? Maybe because he never ever learn his lessons in the first place.

When I first saw my results online, I couldn't believe it. I was in so much denial that I just kept refreshing the page, logging in and out to see if there was any difference. I figured since it was online, there must be a technical glitch somewhere. Then I realised, the only glitch seems to be me.

Getting the exact results this year and the first year I took A Levels just only mean one thing. It just means that this is my education standard. I won't do well in Maths, Chem or Bio. It is just not me. Can't believe it took me three years to know that. Why do I even bother trying to be something I am not?

At least my parents stopped yelling at me for not doing well again. I think they are way past disappointment to despair, or maybe they just gave up totally on me. Now my brother is the model son because he has a job and doesn't take exams three time and failed all of them.

Enough brooding. it is not going to change the results now. Time to pick up the pieces and move on...again. I already submitted my application for NIE, hopefully this time they will change their mind and accept me. Just can't wait for today to be over, at least my weekend is going to be fun. :)

Get a life.

2011-03-02T00:17:00.002+08:00

I so need to ~~reorganize~~ get a life.
All I have been doing everyday is watching my series and playing games, while facebooking and twittering concurrently. I seemed to keep putting my life on hold until the release of A levels results this friday.

And then what?

I do well, good for me. I might finally get into a local university and shut my mother up once for all on all the financial woes my family is facing or how my other cousins are much more successful than I am or how my other aunts keep asking her if I will ever go into university.

If I don't do well? I honestly won't know what to do. These few ~~days~~ weeks, I have been convincing the third time will be the charm and I won't have to worry about my results. Maybe I am just running from my problems until it finally happen. I mean, not that worrying about it now can change anything.

Just going to pray that this time, I will finally do well.
Save me from all this shit.

New year, new beginnings,new chapter

2011-01-02T01:31:00.001+08:00

My last post was a year ago and it was almost the same title! :)

Last year was definitely eventful and the highlight was obviously that I ORDed just a few weeks ago, something I always wanted ever since I enlisted. However when that day comes, I felt a longing to my office and its inhabitants that I really didn't feel like leaving. After 1 and a half year in that office and seeing the different batch of people come and go and the change of management and everything else just made me miss it so much. Lucky for me, I was still able to meet them quite often due to the little cohesions here and there. :)

2010 also marks the end of my A Levels FOREVER I still can't believe that I took A levels three freaking time and this time will really be the last time. If I still don't do ~~well~~ better, I should really bang on my head on a wall and reflect...a lot. The good news is that I finally got my NIE interivew which I hoped I fared well, so even if my A Levels is screwed up again, at least I have a place next August.

I had made quite a few close friends that I hoped that could last a lifetime and of course, not going to neglect the friends that I already have. My biggest problem is that I am very bad at maintaining friendship and I hoped that I can do it better this year. :) Thank you my friends, you know who you are, for making my 2010 so awesome. Hope your 2011 will be a great one too!

2011 brings a lot of new things to my life. Dance is one of them, I will be going for dance courses at Oschool starting Jan 24th, which I can hardly wait for it. It's going to be fan-freaking-tastic! I just hope I don't make a fool out of myself and embarrass myself. :/

And school is of course another important thing this year. Hopefully I would have a place in NIE at least so I can study and be a teacher and do some good for the world. I would like to pursue writing eventually, becoming a writer/produce is still my ambition, even if I become a teacher, I will never give it up. I will continue writing so that one day I can publish my own books.

Sooooo, my new year resolutions for 2011!

-Slim Down! (It was my NYR for 2010 and since it is still not done, I am carrying forward to 2011)

-Get Attached. <3

-Be a better friend.

-Pass Driving.

-Finish Another Novel.

-Get into NIE (Diploma/Degree)

-Learn Dancing! :D

That is all! :D Good night!

A New Year, A New Hope

2010-01-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

Or so I think....

Finally back to blogging after such a freaking long time! My last entry was actually dated 4 months back! Show how lazy I am even after my A levels, I mean busy. Life has certainly changed after As, I am now taking two tutees, one teaching Secondary school LITERATURE :) and the other primary school maths and english. The good thing that comes out of tuition is not just the money earned but the joy I get from teaching, especially Literature which I really enjoyed in my school years.

Yikes, the last sentence has made me damn old. And 2 years in army isn't helping, after so long, I still hate the fact that I, along with other Singaporeans males, have to go in University(provided I get a place this year) two years late. Sigh, all my long lost youth.

Sometimes its so hard to wake up and go to work. There is no motivation to work, true, I might enjoy this tiny weeny part of my work, but really, I feel that I am working for nothing. Aren't we just fighting a war that will never happen? I really feel that life is wasting in the army, sometimes its' just so depressing waking up to another nightmare that you know will just haunt you for another two years. Like a caged bird, I could only scream in terror and can never achieve freedom.

At least I am quite happy, as happy as I can get in army (which thus isn't saying a lot) in my office, with such fabulous colleagues that just cracks me up and make life just easier, of course there are always irritating regulars who are just there to make trouble for all of us. So much politics and backstabbing, sometimes I really wonder how I had survived for so long. YOU need to understand one thing, we, NSF, do not want or like credit, we just do our job and go home and 5.30pm sharp. YOU can have the credit, I don't care. My pay doesn't increase on how much work I had done but I know YOURS does, so just get it in your head, get all the credit and let us go home. Thanks.

Oh well, back to new hopes, I hoped that this new year, I could
- Slim down to a healthy weight (70KG!)
- Become more physically active after 10 months of stagnant activity.
- Earn more money (Either tuition or Mahjong)
- Passed Driving (No stress, just that my daddy mentioned how poor we are when I mentioned I might fail, NO STRESS)
- Get Good Grades (Not really anything I could do, just hoping for another miracle)
- Catch up on all my series!
- Go out, have fun, get drunk (Seriously, I need to just get seriously drunk once and just forget everything for even a few hours, anywhere to get free alcohol?)
- Write more fictional works (Anything that triggers my brain to work is good and I do like to write a lot)
- Stay sane (Trust me, its not as easy as it seems)

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

I am alive!

2009-09-14T17:09:00.000+08:00

Sort of...
I just hate going through motion.
Everyday its just going to work and going back home to study.
I can't wait for As to be over, but I can't bear to see it come near.
At least I will have my long awaited study leave before the exams.

People clear leave to go out and relax,
I have to stay at home to study.
Its' so high school.

Not that high school is bad,
Nothing beats going to army.
Though my life is quite good as compared to others,
It still sucks.
Two years is still two years wasted,
no matter how you look at it.

Dec 4th. I will be free then.
Free from all those chains that has bound me for so long.

Fun Week!

2009-08-10T12:42:00.000+08:00

Seems like I have been having too much fun lately.
Its a good way to distract from studies.
:)
Wednesday saw me at Mediacorp for Chendi's recording at 我要唱下起! (Don't forget the Lyrics)
With Shaorong, Benja, Mummy and Francis.
Reached Mediacorp for some time and met up with Chendi's Mum.
After a long wait, we finally got into the recording!
Some guy was raraing us and he said he is actually very handsome when he put makeup.
So I just commented, he must have not put makeup yet.
LOL.
Lucky he didn't hear me, because the other audiences were already laughing at him,
when he mentioned the word "handsome".
See, I am not so bad. :)
We waited and waited and waited,
and finally the recording started!
The host was damn funny and Chendi's segment was the best! :)
You so have to watch it on tv. It should be on 6th of October.
Shan't spoil it for you. :)

Saturday saw me drinking at Costal Sands,
for Razzi 21st Birthday Party!
There was so much wine,
Johnny Walker, which I just realised is actually wine,
Vodka, the all time favourite,
Whiskey,
Corona extra,
Tiger Beer,
and Finally.....
Martini! :) My favorite thus far.
Maybe cause it not as strong as the rest of the alcohol,
and I always wanted to tried ~~Martini~~ Chololate Martini
But still, there wasn't chocolate there to make it.
Oh wells, Still didn't drink too much,
didn't want to test my beer tolerance level
and end up puking somewhere.
It wasn't a peaceful sleep,
because there was a whole bunch of underage gangster and ganstress
who smoked, singed horribly (if you think my singing was bad, you will die from hearing them sing),
and made damn a lot of noise outside their room.
At least we tried to control when it reaches like 11
and we hide inside the room instead of shouting and singing in the open.
We had half a mind to complain about them,
because they will still making hell of a noise at 3am,
and they were smoking when they were obviously still in secondary school.
So much for the "You are underage, I don sell."
Wake up, even students in uniform can buy cigarettes,
who don't want extra money?
Plus teenagers are the bulk of their smokers,
peer pressure, pressure from parents, they used it as a anti-depressant.
When morals and ethics meets money, usually the latter will win.
Don't bother trying to argue, its not a sweeping statement.
If certain organization with power have ethics,
won't they already ban smoking if it was so unhealthy.
NO, they don't.
They just slap a heavy tax onto cigarettes,
so they can continue to earn money,
while people die.
Don't you just love our "certain organization with power"

And more more to come... :)

"Think of the nicest thing he did to you?"
"He never scold you for one day?"
"No la, he gave me toilet paper." :)

Blurred again.

2009-07-28T20:37:00.002+08:00

I thought I can't be any blur than I am now,
Until I lost my 11B and then I spend one hour,
Just looking for it.
I walked to the cookhouse to look for it,
And then someone called my name,
This time, he was right in front of me,
And I was like, "Wha?"
As he gave up and turned away,
I was like, "Oh, Royston."
Ok, so I am really bad at recognizing faces.
And Sheng Yong called out to me,
at least I could recognize his face.
But I was in a panicked mode,
Trying to locate my 11B.
So still very blur.
Then I saw Laixing,
It is always nice to see a familiar face,
Makes NS less sian.
His first reaction was "$50!",
when I told him I lost my 11B.

And then, I finally found it.
In my office.
Right at the side of my chair.
It slipped out when I was sitting down.
Naughty Card that caused me so much grief.
OMG, I am blogging about NS.
:( :( :(

"You are wearing faded jeans!" -Some Officer.
"Sir, this is THE original colour."

Blurred.

2009-07-27T21:23:00.000+08:00

Life seems to be flashing past quite fast nowadays,
Maybe its because the workload is a tad bit heavier,
And you just keep working on it to get it done and
POOF, its going home time.

I don't know whether I actually like this kind of life,
On one hand, time passes very fast,
Making the undesirable two years, ( yes, it is still undesirable), pass faster,
But somehow, it just shows the fragility of time,
Of how man just let time slip on unnoticeably.
It just feels like my life is now blocks and blocks.
Work. Lunch. Work. Home and so on,
Where is the commas that I had taked from granted all these years?

O Time, come back to me?

Something funny happened today while I was going home,
A flash of green marched past me,
And I heard my name coming from there,
I whirled around, trying to sense the source,
But everyone looks the same, with no hair, green uniform, green cap and a black laptop bag.
I stared and stared and stared,
My name was repeated and repeated and repeated,
Until someone said, "He looked blurred."
Then I finally noticed one familiar faces,
But there was many people calling my name,
Do I know so many people?
But it just warms me up a little bit,
At the familiarity, at the fact that I am not forgotten,
Makes me miss school more and more.

"Peng Tiong Peng Tiong Peng Tiong Peng Tiong"
Went the marching soldiers up the hill hill hill.

Harry Potter and the funny Prince.

2009-07-19T15:07:00.000+08:00

Yep, you heard it right, I really think the director should just renamed the film to that.

There was minimal action and they focused more on the relationship in the film more than their desire to kill Voldermort. For a while there, I thought I was watching a chick flick by mistake. Well, at least the film was pretty funny and the whole theater was rolling in laughter at some of the cleverly crafted scene. However, once I reminded myself that I should be watching some dark Harry Potter film, the laughter died down.

It would be very hard to actually meet up to the readers' expectations but this time, I doubt they were even trying. I really wonder if non-readers of the book could actually understand the movie except the fact that Hermione loves Ron and Harry is with Ginny.

You properly won't miss much if you gave this movie a miss, but these are the movies you know you will have to watch despite being disappointed. Let's just hope New Moon, another novel-to-movie adaptation will be much better.

But I am the chosen one!

So not Obsessed

2009-07-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

With Obsessed because it is not a very good movie.
Watched it with qy yesterday and while the movie wasn't bad, it will let you leave the cinema leaving with nothing, no surprises, no plot twist and very little action with just a cat-fight at the very end. Trust me, if you really want to know the story, just watch the trailer, the trailer showed almost everything anyway. :)

And after that, I went to Princess P house again for tuition again and we are almost finishing the syllables, much to her relief. I really owe it to her, she helped me achieved something that could had taken me months to digest, which by then, A levels will be here again.

Ain't I lucky to be blessed with friends like that? :)

Work, Work

2009-07-04T19:41:00.000+08:00

1 week had passed and I had learned around 50% of the work I will be doing as a clerk in camp. Well, lucky for me, my upperstudy, sherman, is very nice and patient, so I will have no stress learning and asking a lot of questions so I will not make mistakes once I officially take over when he ORD in like a few months.

He is quite funny though and very forgetful. He can put his jockey cap on one table, walked to the next and then asked me where is his jockey cap. At least the office won't be so boring with people like him. Let's just hope that my remaning time in army will be filled with laughter and randomness as opposed to regimentation and disclipline.

And, I never thought my life will be filled with unfinished homework yet again, it happened in secondary school, then JC, and now. I really need to prioritize my time properly so I will not disappoint the people who had put in effort in giving me the homework and at the end of the day, I produced nothing. It is even worse when the people are your closest friends. :( So off I go to finish my homework. Tschüss.

Thank you both for your effort and sorry for my lack of.

Clerk Clerk.

2009-06-30T20:36:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I am finally posted to Stagmont Camp which is quite near my house so that is a huge major relief. Though I had been hoping to be posted out of Tekong asap, I just can't feel but a bit sad when it finally came. I can't believe I will say this, but I miss Tekong.

*Gasp* So I said it, but I do not miss the 3 hours traveling time there but I really miss the people in the office even though it was but two weeks. Ironically, I should miss Tekong and my buddies because we are supposed to "bond" through hardship and torture when we went through BMT (Basic Military Torture) but no. I guess doing push ups together really didn't make us extremly good friends and we were too tired at the end of the day to communicate much where unlike this time, where we just spent much of our time slacking in the office and hit it off quite well.

I saw one of the most beautiful sunrise on the bus ride to Tekong on the last day and when I went back, there was a beautiful rainbow just shinning over the clouds. The gifts that nature keep on giving, it was wonderful and it ended my attachment to Tekong on a good note.

At least the fellow clerks in my unit are quite nice people and it is very easy to pass time just by talking or walking around the canteen or e-mart buying food, (which I swear will stop because I am getting fat), just to pass the time until 5.30pm when everyone just seems to know minutes before and bags will be packed.

Well, time to hit the books as A levels is yet approaching. Tata!

Sorry, Princess P.

I had a dream, you were in it.
Oh wait.
I had a nightmare, you were in it.

Hi, Weekend.

2009-06-25T21:48:00.000+08:00

It's almost friday. OMG!
The weekend is coming and so is my lifesaving tution with Pamela.
Thanks PT, if not for you, I most prob have to burn another certificate and waste money. :)

Life is slack as usual with the occasional paperwork which I should learn to hate but sometimes, it is good once in a while to take studies out of my mind for a while and we cleaned up the room that we are staying in today, it looks so much neater now, I am so suited to be a clerk.

Hear that, CMPB, don't make me a storeman, I will draw flowers on the wall, label guns as shovels, and sun the equipment when it is raining. You will learn to love me in time.

I will blog more over the weekend if I get to use the computer, but for now, I got to go to sleep.

I will think of something funny to write here over the weekend.

Busy!

2009-06-24T20:10:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the lack of posts, I have been very busy serving army as a ~~soldier~~ civil slave. I have to rush to Tekong every morning which makes it so I have to wake up at 4.30 am every single day. I think I will die really really very soon if CMPB do not post me out.

On the good side, life there is pretty good and the people there are really nice except a selective few, well, life can't be that perfect and the best part, I can book in Civilian attire, that means no fumbling with boots or the uniform when the sun doesn't even shine yet. :)

So I make it a point to bring colours to Tekong since there are like only 4 colours there, Green (uniform), Brown (Admin), White and Black. (Infantry shirt), so I have to dig my closet for the bright-coloured polo tees that I swore I will never wear, like Pink or Red, but for the sake of mankind, I have to do my part.

And I just bought a big yellow watch that I always wanted to buy but it was $10 last time, now that it is only $5, I just can't resist. :) It is so big, well quite, that I am sure it will catch attention. See, I bring LIFE to Tekong, Thank me, Mortals.

This phone is just so cool! :)

"You shamed me!"
"I am going to curse you!" *Speaks in gibberish*
N...S...F...
-Drag Me to Tekong.
Coming to theaters near you since 1967

Future or no future?

2009-06-09T22:34:00.000+08:00

Last year, I was studying to go to a university.
This year, I am studying for my future.

I guess, this make it all the difference, or at least I hope it is motivating enough for me to buck and get my game on, considering I do not have much time left. No, I am not dying; yet, it is just that, 5 more months to a levels is just WOW.

It is not exactly very close for me to freak out, but looking at my progress, it is frowned upon and yet the next thing on my mind is not what I am studying tomorrow, but rather of the many outings to come since I can now walk or so my doctor say.

ME: But I still need some aid for walking, so I need my clutch.
DOC: Oh, throw away your clutch; get an umbrella or a walking stick.

WOW, I can really picturing myself, going back tekong with an umbrella; it is so Mary Poppins, bravo doctor, bravo. I wonder if the fact that I am in army affect his decision to shorten my mc. Tsk Tsk. That is that weird logic that soldiers recover faster, like Claire from heroes or Wolverine, just by being a soldier. Or that when injured, soldiers are like superhuman, who do not require aid going from places to places even you lost a limb, I guess when you brand us soldiers, we just can magically teleport or so assumed by a certain MO. Yes, I am bleeding sarcasm, but this is a true account, maybe I will elaborate on a later post.

Back to my future, which I am struggling to convince to this little voice in my head that is not bleak and empty, it is just not painted yet and I am but in the process of painting it very soon. Yes, in a few years time, I will be sitting in SPH, doing articles in The Straits Time. Mark my words, you will see me, or least my words.

I used to believe that I am but a late bloomer, but my mother said if by now, you haven bloomed, the flower properly died.

Season Finale

2009-06-01T17:35:00.000+08:00

I have a love-hate relationship with season finale, I always look forward to them because simply they usually are the best part of the season, I mean being the finale, they must give viewers something to look forward to the next season. Season Finale usually rounds up the season as a whole but never forgetting to give us a cliff-hanger every single time. Not to mention the long, three months for the next season.

Gossip Girl Season 3: August 31
Heroes Season 4: September 7
Ugly Betty Season 4: Septemeber 25
Ghost Whisperer Season 5: September 25
Supernatural Season 5: Fall 2009
Desperate Housewives Season 6: Fall 2009

I am desperate for Desperate Housewives, gossiping for Gossip Girl, dressing uglily for Ugly Betty, whispering for Ghost Whisperer, fighing the supernatural in Supernatural and being a hero for Heros.

My family

2009-05-25T13:48:00.000+08:00

To understand why my family had been very unhappy of late, you must go back in time to 1998, when my brother were convicied and then it was quite a happy family, because both my parents wanted kids at that time, though my mother were not very thrilled but at least she knew that she wanted one kid to tide her over when she was old.
Fast forward, two years later, I was born, unfortunally, to the family. My mother was unhappy of course, she always wanted only one child, now she had two. My father was even more unhappy because I was not a girl that he so eagerly awaited for and seems to not care anymore.
In conclusion, a girl-loving father, a overworked housewife, two boys, one unhappy family.

And you would had thought things won't get any worse and then when you said that, things always get worse, it is just how the earth spins. My grandma had to move in, even though there she had a rich son living in a condo with elevator straight to the living room to choose from, she had to move in with us and let's just say my mother and her don't really see eye to eye just about everything. And not that I am siding with my mom, she aint the kindest old lady and I was comparing her to the Cinderella's stepmother.
And finally, a girl-loving father, a overworked housewife, two boys, a obonxious grandma, an unhappy and spilt family.

Yes, things never goes the way we want to because there is always something that we cannot control, actually that is a solution to this problem, but this is often frowned upon in our society so I shall not dissuss it here.

Oh you marriage-breaker, roll over and die. Confess before you die, or risk rejected at Heaven high.

Too litte, Too late.

2009-05-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

Yes, these are the three words I would give Singapore for every single campaign/policy that they had ever done, because simply there were too little, too late and way too slow. I always wondered how did it happen when we had so called "Visionary Leaders" who by right had set Singapore on a 10 year or 15 year plan.

An example would be the Speak Mandarin Campaign held since 1979 to promote people to speak mandarin, fast forward 30 years and yet the Chinese standard is still slipping day by day, why? The reason is simple, the government put too little emphasis and reward for people who actually excel in Chinese instead of English, and so why bother learning a language the majority of our society doesn't care. Take my parents for example who are very fluent in mandarin and see where it got them, one a labourer with long hours and low pay, the other a housewife because simply they didn't know much English. I tell you, if the government had not discrimated against mandarin speaking citizen and focus entirely on English, there would be no need for such campaign. TOO LATE.

Not only that, I mock the effort the campaign because simply the government is not putting enough effort in it, why bother with a campaign when it is just for show, "Hey, everyone speak Chinese, but it really not important, but just speak ok?" I haven seen much changes in our education about promoting Chinese. If you fail your enlist, you might be retained or not be able to secure a place in university, however, if you fail your Chinese, its perfectly ok, you still promote and university will still accept you with open arms as long as your others subjects are good. Companies still value people who can speak enlist over Chinese, hell, I think Western countries like America put more effort in promoting Chinese to their citizen. TOO LITTLE.

Enough of Education lets go health. Remember SARS, where suddenly personal hygiene, the abandoned child that no one cared about, were adopted by everyone, posters of washing your hands became every well and most toilet, well maintained, which brings a very interesting question, "So, no SARS, no need wash hand huh?". I would have thought washing hands should be something that was inculcated from young and not only in a disease-stricken era like SARS. TOO LATE.

Another example would be Singapore's OK, released in 2003, however, had it really been ok these few years, you would had though it was really OK, if not for the Rojak incident. Though the cause of the incident was not directly the hygiene of the Rojak stall owner, but rather contamination came about after drippings from raw cuttlefish fell into the Rojak gravy, which was in uncovered containers on the lower shelves of a refrigerator, however, when they did clean up the whole market at that time when the cause was unknown, lots of rats were found. If they didn't die of food poisoning now, it would be just a matter of time anyway. So I would think when the government actually implement something, they should stick to it. TOO LITTLE.

You know it's just too little too late

A World of Lies.

2009-05-09T18:39:00.000+08:00

We all live in a world of lies.
It is the easiest thing to do when we just cannot face the truth.
It not that we want to lie, it just makes us feel better.

We lie when our daugthers never visits again after a big fight, She is just busy with work, knowing her shelude was empty.
We lie when our sons visits but only to leave soon after, He just needs to go back to work, knowing fully it was a public holidays.
We lie when no one came by your bedside when you were sick. Maybe they don't know when you had already informed everyone.
We lie when there is no roof above your head and no one to accommodate you. The houses are too small for me, knowing they had a room just for the maid.
We lie and lie and lie, and when the truth finally came to light, we just close our eyes and know by tomorrow, there will be a new lie to face instead of the cruel truth.

Let's pretend everythings fine
Put on our fake smiles and keep wasting our time.

Maids : Disaster in Disguse?

2009-05-06T13:18:00.000+08:00

Let's talk maid. You seen them, use them, hire them or are they as good as you think you or are you courting disaster by hiring the so-called "domestic helper"? I personally do not grow up with a maid in my house so maybe I won't know the benefits of having them around but I had seen what dangers they can cause.

A real life example would be my grandma's maid, K, she claims to be very smart, a good cook and able to do most housework and very caring towards old people, or so we thought we were telling the truth. When left at home alone with my grandma, she ran downstairs with the key when my grandma was bathing, so effectively locking my grandma in. She did this for quite some time, until my grandma had a headache after bathing and was calling for K but no response; she then quickly called my uncle who found her downstairs talking to other maids. Naughty Naughty and that was not all, she refused to help my grandma when she called her and just ignored my poor grandma and finally, we no longer could tolerate her, we decided to send her back to the lousy maid agency. When she heard we are sending her back, she started screaming at my grandmother and then said that she didn't want to take care of old people anyway, she prefers. Oh god, that terror. Until now, my grandma refused to hire another maid with that incident still fresh in her mind.

Another example was my aunt's maid, J, J was given a handphone by my aunt so that she could contact J when she is bringing the kids back from lessons, however, my aunt did not count on her calling other people except herself and J's phone bill amounted to $700 and even used my cousin’s phone which amounted to $300, making a grand total of 1k plus, even my uncle who was a businessmen and had to make frequent calls overseas can't beat her record. While my aunt finally resolved the matter, woohoo, they found her stealing vegetables and food from the kitchen to bring somewhere. Not much of a terror, but can't say much about her integrity.

However, this does not mean that I condone maids because I had met very good maids in my family, the other maid of my aunt, A, was very good. She hit it well with the kids and even offered free massage my uncle which would had cost a lot more outside. The kids love her so much that they would call for her when they will wake up instead of their parents.

I guess sometimes you just have to pray that the maid that was introduced to you will be really of some help instead of hindrance to you. It’s really come down to luck.

How do you sleep at night?
Soon, with Mike on top of me.

When you got to go, you got to go.

2009-05-04T09:43:00.000+08:00

Watched Amazing Race again and I am very amazed how Jen and Kisha lost because Jen needed to go pee, regardless of the fact that she is in a race and so Jamie and Cara got the third place instead, which was good since I kinda dislike Jen and Kisha and predicted the final 3 would be Tammy and Victor, Luke and Marge and Jamie and Cara. Let's just say next week will be the one to watch as it is the season finale, who doesn't like a season finale?

Speaking of season finale, most of the shows that I had been watching are reaching their season finale, so I have to wait god damn how long for the next season, well, at least all of them have a next season, which is again good because so I can focus more on studying.

And of course Mothers' Day is coming so all moms can rejoice especially here at my grandma's house, where the whole family treat it as her birthday too and bring her out to eat one by one, and because yours truly is staying at her house, I get to tag along. Eat Eat Eat. You can't blame me, it’s only once a year. :)

WHO Personnel 1: Hey, let's give this influenza a name shall we?
WHO Personnel 2: All right, how about Swine flu, since it kinda originated from pigs?
WHO 1: No, the poor pigs will be killed in the name of medicine.
WHO 2: Fine, how about New Flu, since it is new and all.
WHO 1: Ok...but New Flu sounds bad and generic.
WHO 2: Hear hear, then Mexico Flu!
WHO 1: Absolutely not, it’s like we are against the Mexicans. And Mexico Flu sounds so weird
WHO 2: WEIRD FLU!
WHO 1: You fail.

The debate on naming the H1N1 virus.

Secrets

2009-04-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

Everyone have secrets, it just the matter of how far we go to the length to keep them from others.
However, the interesting thing is, we always can't keep it to ourselves, no matter how minor or major the secret is, whether it can break a strong relationship or send someone to jail, we always tell.

But in different ways,
some keep it in a notebook, locked in their drawer, never letting others see it;
some write it in a form of story and share it with others, knowing they might not get the underlying meaning;
some tell their closest buddies, making them swear they will never tell;
some hold the secret inside them, with lies and more lies to cover the secret,
but not often then not, when we bring our secrets to our graves, only will we find out, it was a secret no more to others because somehow people always know.

Yes, humans are the most secretive creatures in the world, but yet, we never can keep a secret, not now, not ever, because this is the way we are programmed. Don't you agree? Do you still remember the last time, you told someone a secret, and felt betrayed when he told someone else, but deep down, you were guilty of the very same thing.

Will you tell me your secret?

Stars Awards 2009

2009-04-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching and was a bit impressed how they could presents the prizes in so many, you have birds, helicopter, balloons, etc etc, but then again, it makes me wonder, how these little things adds up to the production cost, not to mention the spinning thingy that the presenters stepped on and of course the awards looks nicer this time.

While our economy is still restoring, isn’t this event a bit extravagant, I do know the significance of the award to the artists as it is a form of recognition , and to some, a direction or motivation, that award they are holding signify their sweat and tears for that whole year.

But,but, but, I don think cost = recognition, right, so why make people pay $0.80 for one vote, it is not a charity event, and shouldn't they lower the cost so it is more accurate. So that more people can vote for the artists they like and do not worry that excessive voting would cost them their dinner that night. ($0.80 X 10 = $8.00!!!)

And people can complain about donating to charity but they have no qualms on spending money to vote for their favorite artists. Pardon me, I just don't believe in such wastage unless, they added "All proceeds shall go to charity" and maybe I will call once or twice.

Also, even though I am labeled a fashion disaster, I could clearly tell the difference between HOT and NOT in today's event, I really had no idea how certain people can still wear it even though, one look and you will go "oh no".

Since all the awardees thank god, I will do a little prayer myself.

In the name of spaghetti, ramen.

Rain!

2009-04-26T13:53:00.001+08:00

Finally it rained!
Yea man, after this wave of hot days for the past week, it finally rained. It is such a godsend, now my room is so cooling now even without using the fan and I hope it continued or rain more often. God, I really hate the heat. haha

Well, these two days were extremely not productive because my cousins have been coming over and I just kind of played with them and my super-duper-ultra cute nephew, zach, who is just three months old, but is the most active baby I had even seen. He moves his arms and legs every single moment he is not asleep and responds by baby talk every single time you talk to him and his eyes always follow your movement. My cousin and me reckons he going to be talkative when he grows up just like the both of us. Since I sent my phone for repair, seeing my warranty was going to end soon, I couldn't take a photo but next time when he visits, it will be ready.

Feel the rain on your skin.

Can you give me what I want?

2009-04-23T14:01:00.000+08:00

Sigh, as usual, I can think of one thousand and one things to do except studying. Its so wearing me out, so I decided to stop doing maths and started reading Time, something I had neglected for the past two years and assuring myself that I wasn’t slacking since it will help improve on my GP, which is still tested.

Sigh, at least Time was interesting enough for me to not stop reading from the first page, one of the issues featured animals facing extinction any time soon, if poaching/slash-and-burn/hunting/illegal trading does not stop and plus the climate changes are bringing a strain to them. Especially when some of the animals are so cute, an example will be the Verreaux’s sifake lemur in Madagascar. I would love to go there one day, hopefully, the animals are still there with human destruction and global warming, we can only hope for a miracle that the animals gets horny and procreate like cockroach.

Sigh, I so want to go out play, want to go Kbox, want to go bowling, want to go watch movies, want to go drinking, want to go eat buffet, want to go overseas, want to...

Can you give me what I want?

First yet again!

2009-04-13T19:19:00.000+08:00

Previewed Amazing Race just before I rushed to hospital again for a regular checkup. And woohoo, they won first again, marking it the third time in this race! Margie was nicknamed, "Bionic Mom" and Luke, "The sinister deaf kid" for his ruthlessness, can't blame him, $1,000,000 is at stake. And it looks like Luke will be in a cat fight with Kisha and Jen. Merrow...
Though I was a bit disappointed that Mark & Michael (twiddle A and twiddle B) are still in the race despite being the last, sigh. I think they talk way too much and really like to break the rules.

Anyway, good news for my legs, everything is good, now I can put some weight on that legs and should be able to walk within two months, give or take half a month. Oh no, that means my Mc is going to expire soon, so much for being able to study at home.

Race to the top!

2009-04-11T16:55:00.000+08:00

So I watched Amazing Race today and this team just become my favourite! Margie & Luke Adams! GOGOGO, I am rooting for you two!

Luke is really one of those example that proved anything is possible, he may be deaf that is not stopping him racing halfway round the earth to win the Amazing Race.

He makes me feel so ashamed of myself and that I should work hard for my goals and dreams, no matter how unbelievable it is to other people and sometimes even yourself.

Who say that you can't learn stuff from TV? :)

Dare to fight me?

2009-04-09T11:01:00.001+08:00

Sigh, seems that everyone or most people I know already gotten at least a call of acceptance, email of offer, letter of interview, but somehow, all the channels fails to reach me, well, I know its obvious, but you can't blame a guy for trying.

I mean, at least have the courtesy to reject early so I won't feel like I at least have a spark of hope somewhere in this cruel world. Anyway, its back to the drawing board.

While everyone is hooked to facebook, here is one mini-game that you can try.
Click here. Its really cute and really fun and you can release all your pent up energy here

Damn

2009-03-27T18:22:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I am blogging from my grandma house which has very limited internet access and no entertainment whatsoever, which is actually kinda good right now because I should be studying hard for A levels, again. Gosh. I hate again, never will I want to use the word again again.

Damn.

Anyway, my operation is on 1st of April, lets just hope they won't push me into the operating theather and say "April's Fool!" Well, of couse, they won't do that, this is singapore, so boring. :) Don't you just wish that sometime major should happen, I don't mean terrorism of course, that is just plain terror and the world already had enough to deal with, the crazy weather, ecomonic downturn and terrorism arising, little kids getting pregant like rabbits, guess everyone needs a little faith.

I seems to be just rambling about random stuff, at least I updated. This slow internet is starting to piss me off. So got to go! :) Hope everyone is well! :)

Not again?

2009-03-17T16:34:00.000+08:00

Its been 1 month plus since I discharged from the hospital, time really files...
And now I have to go back in because I have another operation to take out just one screw in my leg. It's not that I mind staying in the hospital, its just so boring, all I do there is just sleep, take medicine, sleep, rinse and repeat.
So hopefully, I will be discharged soon after the operation and go straight home.

And, I still need to apply to be private canditate soon, the application is closing, so time to say goodbye to playing games all day long.

Sigh. Taking it again is just going to be another nightmare.

Money Money, where are you?

2009-03-05T13:18:00.004+08:00

I hate it when my mother talks about money.

They say money can't buy happiness but in this household, it can and will buy a lot of happiness.

Stupid Money (Adapted from Stupid Cupid)

Stupid Money
You're a real mean thing
I'd like to clip your wings
So you can't fly
I am in debt and it's a crying shame
And I know that you're the one to blame